Who you are does not depend on where you are

  “It’s just not me any more.” Have you ever heard someone talking about their job , when they’ve said: “It’s just not me any more”? More importantly, is the latest voice you heard saying it your own? What could be behind this statement and, more importantly, how can we address it? The role and…

The conversation you need to have

One of the questions I sometimes ask at the beginning of a coaching session is this: “What’s the conversation you most want to have, that you keep putting off?” Perhaps you know what the answer is to that one, and just need to decide to get on and make it happen. Or perhaps you’re not…

Actors directors and other guides to a great performance

If life really is a stage, what roles are you performing? Have you ever been doing a job, or performing a role where you’ve said “This is not really me“? Almost all of us will be there at some point in our lives, discharging responsibilities that are not really our best fit. But whilst we…

How to be happier at work

Whilst there are some very contented people who feel they are in their perfect job, I suspect most of us would like to feel a greater sense of happiness in our workplaces. The good news is that it usually is possible to be happier at work. Join me in exploring the following ideas. Create your…

Beneath your “because.”

Welcome to 2017, and a Happy New Year to you. Considering the year ahead Even if you are not a practitioner of new year’s resolutions, it’s likely that you will be undertaking some kind of forward planning, either at work or at home. You have probably already had some conversations around what you are hoping…

Coaching spaces

When reflecting with clients on the value they get from coaching, one common theme is that of “space.” Coaching creates a space in people’s lives to stand back, reflect, review, re-energise and recommit. In particular, there are four kinds of “spaces” that regularly appear through coaching conversations. Coaching provides, first and foremost, a safe space….

What’s your relationship to ageing?

For all you visual learners out there, here’s a somewhat abstract blog post. Ready? I’ve been reading some research from Jeanette Leardi who explores, in a brief post of her own, the question “What’s your relationship with Aging?” Jeanette invites us to think about living with ageing as like having a relationship with another person….

What do you want to be when you’re grown up?

Remember that question? I expect we have all been asked that by various people. Can you remember any of the answers you gave? The only one I remember was after a particularly memorable lesson at school when I was ten or eleven. Our teacher, the fabulous Mr Wilson, was quite possibly the most creative educationalist…

Look forward to a successful life after full time work

What do you think of when you when you think of the word “retirement?” Is it a concept more about something coming to an end than a new beginning? You down tools, cease to contribute, rest, perhaps recover. Maybe it’s just a general term to denote that phase of life which happens between finishing your career…

How to become a great listener

Some time ago Peter Lumley, our chair at Coaching York, introduced me to the Chinese word for listening – Ting. Here it is. This combination of characters creates a little bucket of ideas evoking the following thoughts: “Listen with your ear, ten eyes, your whole heart, as if you had the attention of your king.” What…

Join the revolution against the tiny task masters

It’s interesting to chart changes in expectations around the average working week. In a recent article in the New Yorker magazine, Tim Wu (Professor at Columbia Law School) was reflecting on what became of the ambition for a 30 hour working week. In the 1960’s, the prevailing wisdom was that with advances in science making…

About time

How do you see time? After getting a speedy replacement for my watch battery at the Watch Lab in Leeds, I asked the staff there to help me in some market research, and to tell me what metaphor they would each use for time. One said they saw time like an hour glass (which made…